Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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