Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
