we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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