sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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