just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize