I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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