Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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