Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize