I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
