Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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