i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
