i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
