I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize