I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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