i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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