we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
