how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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