And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
