So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
