sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
