i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
