They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
we should paint friendship bongs
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