i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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