Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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