hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
