This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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