I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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