maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
