the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize