He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
