it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
