In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
