Where is the hickey?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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