So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
