was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
