My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
