I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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