Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
