I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Two words: blizzard sex
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
