woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize