shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
