All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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