So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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