i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I checked into jail on foursquare
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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