Can Purell be used as lube?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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