i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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