Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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