Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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