It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
