sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
false alarm. still invincible.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
