i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
oh god the rape fog is back!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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