did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
