i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
