we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
