I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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