i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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