I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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