idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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