He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
