Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
